The Gap Between Saying and Doing

By Steve Wickham

I am often perplexed at how often I still fail at the basic things. These are things I say I'm going to do but yet still I cannot do consistently. Like the day before yesterday I spent the whole day trying to work out solutions to the two areas of my life that I still fail in; serving cheerfully through what feels like constant interruptions at work, and being more tolerant in certain situations around the home. As I analyse my life, I find my other roles and other parts of my roles going really well, yet I've stumbled too consistently in these two areas and I want to change.

The Message tells me that [something] "within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time."[1] (Reader: Do you relate to this in areas of your life?)

It's coming time for push to come to shove. I need to change. Do you ever feel this way? I'm not sure this will work but I'm trying it anyway. This is a public declaration in the desperation to finally get it right.

I'm thinking while I'm at it, that if I experience this, then possibly you do to. Does this reading above resonate with you like it did me? Are you unable to change something in your life that exasperates you? Don't give up. Keep trying, and keep trying new and innovative ways; something will work for you eventually, just like I know it will for me!

My present method is this: I need to have a focused mind and a disciplined heart, and be prepared to meditate daily on the standard responses to both these issues and fix them at the 'cause,' not the symptom end. The problem's with me and my response. Why am I unhappy with these things? Some of the reading I've done suggests that it could be due to problems with my "subjective well-being."[2] This is an elaborate way of saying I'm unhappy with things that are in any event outside of my control. When things are beyond your control it's somewhat impractical and illogical to get concerned about them. Yet, that's my problem. That's what must change. My perception of the problem; I need to accept I cannot change everything.

My challenge is to develop mental processes to focus my mind and discipline my heart. To focus my mind, I need to control my thoughts in the moment. To discipline my heart I need to resist the temptation to stubbornness and self-pity, pure and simple.

© Copyright 2008, Steven John Wickham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
[1] Romans 7:18-20 (Msg).

[2] See Parrott, L & L., Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts (SYMBIS), (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan, 1995, 2006), p. 66.

Steve Wickham is a safety and health professional (BSc) and a qualified Christian minister (GradDipDiv). He is also has training and leadership Diplomas. His passion in vocation is facilitation and coaching; encouraging people to soar to a higher value of their potential. Steve's interest in psychology is matched by years of experience in the psychology of safety in workplaces. Steve's key passion is work / life balance and re-creating value for living, and an exploration of the person within us. An advocate for a fair and just life, Steve implements wisdom strategies to his life through a passion for Proverbial wisdom. His highest goal is doing God's will, in enhancing his life, and the lives of others.

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